David Berg taught and instructed his female "disciples" to "submit" even in cases of date rape: that submission, by way of example, might lead to acceptance of Jesus and salvation. Girls might incite, encourage, seduce and arouse by provocative behavior but they were not expected to lead in the conduct of sex acts. While Berg spoke of a 15-year minimum age for contact sex there was no effort to enforce this "rule" and as court decisions made clear abusive sexual behavior towards children was a constant. Deviant sexual attitudes and behavior on Berg's part increased in frequency and intensity as he grew older.
Within "submission" was included the "suggestion" of fellatio and the instruction that during oral sex semen should preferably be swallowed. Aside from the characterization of the penis as "golden rod", of semen as "golden seed" and the sex act itself as a metaphysical union with Jesus himself, Berg did not explore the significance of oral sex. Nor did he discuss at length cunnilingus aside from allowing female-on-female sexual activity and condemning homosexuality as an abomination and cause for excommunication.
Mom's Friend (and my Mom) found this intolerable. After Mom's Friend left the Children of God she developed her own theology and childraising principles the most basic element of which was her "same-age rule" under which no sexual contact was allowed with or by minors except with a person of the opposite sex within 10% of her age. Very soon Mom's Friend went further and, in the wake of the feminist movement generally and with a view to "protecting" her girls, ordained that the female should take the initiative in all matters of sex: from the point of arousal and seduction to the first physical contact and the determination of where and how the penis should contact her and enter her body and the destination and consumption of the semen. Arguing that girls had an inalienable "right to pursue orgasm" and that for many or most girls the only way to assure such right was through cunnilingus with penile penetration occurring "at the cusp of orgasm", she mandated oral sex as foreplay. In view of her "rule" that virginity of boys and girls should be shed at puberty, and her definition of that threshold as "menarche or spermarche" but allowing sexual activity to begin at any time following the appearance of pubic hair, it is unsurprising that Mom's Friend allowed oral sex to orgasm with penetrative defloration to happen "at a later date, whenever the girl feels ready".
"Mom's Friend's Rules" incorporated a number of further principles that, in Mom's Friend's eyes, protected girls but that outsiders might find oppressive or exploitative. Thus defloration (and, "if possible" "any sex act") should never occur "alone" but rather in the presence of family (i.e. mother or older sibling) and/or friends. As arousal, orgasm and ejaculation marked the presence and involvement of Jesus (just as Berg had said), these were sacraments. Semen itself was Host of Holy Communion and should never be "wasted". Masturbation and, in principle, physical contraception barriers were onanist sins. On the other hand, and inconsistently, Mom's Friend mandated oral contraception for girls from the time of menarche until majority, deeming The Pill "a redemptive medicine and not a barrier to Act of God".
For Berg the highest calling was "Flirty Fishing" and "Sharing", or the promiscuous seduction of men by way of evangelizing. Within the limits of the "same age rule" Mom's Friend continued this principle. The valuation of semen led to an encouragement of the swallowing of semen and of what is today called "snowballing" or the sharing of semen between boy and girl. This might be by way of penis-in-mouth after coitus, or by the boy kissing and licking the vagina after ejaculation; or by oral sex on the penis with ejaculation in mouth.
The admonition to engage in frequent and promiscuous sex would seem to be a typical outré 1960s free-sex chant, lost in the modernized child- and female-protective world. Except that today sex, it seems, is a "right": the UK National Health Service tells children they have the "right to an orgasm a day" http://bit.ly/5HvL4. Mom's Friend only added to this the retained orders of "collective sex" and "random partners", common to the CoG and to the 60s Commune Movement. These latter two are constants in current-day commercial culture and college lore, less so in the wider world. What Mom's Friend did was to tell girls and boys to "yield to compulsivity", to urges. And because children had been taught from infancy that "all parts of the body are equally beautiful" and that "the erection of a circumcised penis is gorgeous" there would be little resistance or hesitation to accept arousal and to act upon it.
If there are social pressures to abstain or to delay, these are overcome in the cult context by the conviction that "the Bible has commanded us to make love" and the indoctrination leading to "urgent and immediate needs for sex". The common nudity in designated places at Mom's Friend's House including the pool area, and the tolerance for boys to display erections, coupled with the lack of any inhibition, indeed the positive encouragement, to move from public displays of affection to public copulation almost assured that adolescents would become sexually active as soon as they gained capacity. Perhaps half had their first sex spontaneously or at the encouragement of peers although the desired protocol, at least for a girl, was for the child's mother to arrange coming-out party with a chosen boy and a small group of friends. The idea there was to assure that a girl's first penetrative sex would be pleasurable and not painful, preceded by medical examination and, as a matter of foreplay, cunnilingus.
Through home-based sex education and through observation of their parents and older siblings and peers making love, no child would cross the threshold of puberty at Mom's Friend's House without knowledge of the mechanics and, indeed, the psychology of lovemaking. Attribution of beauty to the circumcised penis and to the vagina, and absolute liberty to talk about matters of sex to anyone within the community, assured a total lack of guilt or self-consciousness in the decision to come out or, for that matter, to appear nude within the community during the months of body development when so many mainstream children express shyness and modesty. Most all the children at Mom's Friend's House would share the conviction that Jesus was present at a coming out and that arousal and orgasm and ejaculation were not just matters of extreme pleasure but matters of faith involving the direct attention of God. What is more, every girl grew up in the community knowing with certainty that when she reached sexual capacity she would naturally want to play with penises and put them in her mouth, to receive semen, to have orgasms. No girl will take hold of a penis for the first time without already knowing its most sensitive parts, how to tease it to an erection, and what to expect at the moment of ejaculation. Similarly every boy would know the anatomy of the clitoris and how to stroke the inside of a vagina with his tongue. Neither boy nor girl would flinch from tasting and swallowing bodily fluids, whether sacred semen, vaginal mucus or menstrual blood.
At Mom's Friend's House but not at the Children of God, sex was thus a fully public undertaking, the display of a "penis in motion" and the ejaculated semen being important elements of expression of self, family and society. A girl would not wish, until her next shower, to wash away traces of dried or drying semen from face, breasts or thighs: these are trophies and sources of pride and satisfaction, part and parcel of Jesus and proof of her devotion. Mom's Friend would say that a girl's or a boy's potential number of lifetime orgasms was 20,000. Few will reach that total, but what it came down to was that she or he was "entitled", as the NHS would later say, to pursue orgasm every day.
Mom's Friend's House has closed. The Children of God has morphed into the Family International, which is secretive and denying in matters of adolescent sexual liberality. We can only surmise, then, what becomes of those who enjoyed free sex in past decades, and what experiences their offspring have had. In the literature I collected and added to http://scribd.com/cobillard one can see how perverse the law and medicine have been in matters sexual: look at the bizarre story of spermatorrhia as an invented disease and the criminalization of oral sex: the responses to the wasting of semen through involuntary emissions and masturbations, leading to the use of mechanical appliances and sometimes even castration and lobotomy. Whereas the Web sites of former cultists at the CoG write of numbers of emotionally and sexually disturbed "Jesus babies", by comparison Mom's Friend's House yields no such stories: there was no similar "abuse", no adult-child sex, no rape. Still, more than half of Mom's Friend's alumnae moved towards the mainstream in marriage and relationships and childraising. The impact of the 1960s liberal sex and commune and nudity movement has waned. More's the pity. The problem as I see it is that our descendents' grasp will be less than their reach, their lustful desires unachievable until damage is done. It is unnatural and injurious for sex cravings to go unsatisfied: not to resolve the conflict between the demands of puberty and the social need for further education and the economic impossibility of independent sexual life inevitably has unintended consequences, all bad. It is not just Jesus who demands sharing and witnessing and Communion but our own bodies and brains.

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